Great things can come out of solitude

“All humans are frightened of their own solitude. But only in solitude can we learn to know ourselves, learn to handle our own eternal aloneness.” ~ Han Suyin

“Each of us is alone in the world. It takes great courage to meet the full force of your aloneness .… When you face your aloneness, something begins to happen. Gradually, the sense of bleakness changes into a sense of true belonging. This is a slow and open-ended transition but it is utterly vital in order to come into rhythm with your own individuality.“ ~ John O'Donohue

“Isolation is aloneness that feels forced upon you, like a punishment. Solitude is an aloneness you choose and embrace. I think great things can come out of solitude, out of going to a place where all is quiet except the beating of your heart.” ~ Jeanne Marie Laskas

“The opportunities and challenges of living alone differ greatly, depending on a person's age and marital history. About 5.5 million young adults under age 35 live alone. Especially in larger urban areas, they have an unparalleled mix of social options. Coupled with the explosion of online media and networking tools, there is no societal reason for these people to be lonely, and many reasons why living alone can produce a fulfilling and happy experience. As per statistics, there are 11 million one-person households people over age 65, living a life of solitude. It's here, many experts fear, that loneliness and isolation can take an enormous toll on health and happiness. Many of these people are widowed, and most of them are women who have outlived their husbands.

Single or lonely life can bring about depression in every one of us. I find that it is really easy to feel non-essential in this life when you are the lifeblood or lifeline where love flows from. It's something about giving love in creative capacities that fill every void and is a surefire solution to depression. It is during those lonely days you are blissfully happy some days and on other days you wished you had a companion. This is human nature to want another human being to share your life with, however, after the failed marriage or the loss of your partner and that coveted relationship, you "naturally" decide that it is not all that it is cracked up to be, therefore, you turn to the happiness you have inside you and "CHOOSE" to be happy and more importantly "CONTENT" (since happiness is so elusive) with the one person who will never let you down and that is YOURSELF. This means you become content being alone and are happy for the most part with that decision.

You were born alone so you will not have any problem dying alone, just that living alone would be more of the choice you would make depending on how the rest of your life goes. Please do not doom yourselves to failure in wanting someone for the mere sake of having someone around you. It is not worth it. Just concentrate on living for the moment, love always & appreciate all that you are and all that you can be. For you living alone may be difficult but everything has some negative and positive things in it. You should always look for positive prospects and move on in life. At the end that's pretty much all that we can do.

Human relationships are the best antidote to the downside effects of living alone. You can do things to make yourself happier. People should take some responsibility for being happy instead of it being passive thing. We do so many things to not feel alone even when we had a companion, and those interactions or deeds with good feeling energized and satisfied us, and I bet it is possible now too. So do your best to not feel alone now. You were always alone, you always have been, and you always will be, so do what you need to do to get through it, and be prepared to trade for what someone else wants from you too, and hopefully you will both be satisfied and not feel alone, like going to the movies, trekking or traveling to places you love. We can only do alone what we can do for ourselves. If you want something else you need to trade for it with someone else. You can live alone your entire life happily if you can take time off to cook, clean once a week and freeze the food, read a lot and do some exercise and go out whenever possible to socialize. 

If you adhere to this, life will become more exhilarating, easy and simple with no complaints and regrets filling your life with happy moments.

Still finding tough to live a life of solitude then renew your social networks. Find younger friends and new activities and social organizations. Build daily routines and a lifestyle that matches what you've previously envisioned as the way you want to live. In the end, human relationships are the best antidote to the downside effects of living alone. Get out of the house, learn to play more even if you are an adult (most adults have jailed their inner child), reach out to people everywhere you go, so as not to feel alone unless you just don't want to be bothered sometimes, strike up conversations with strangers if you want to, go to movies, restaurants, gymnasiums etc...alone...then engage someone while there to open up your pool of potential associates or friends...what I'm proposing is that you "LIVE YOUR LIFE" no matter if you are alone or coupled up and you'll find that you will have friends and you will also know within yourself that you have the ability to form relationships regardless of your present circumstances. Lastly, volunteer to do things where love is the reason for the volunteerism and this will expand your capacity to love which will alleviate depression for those of you who proclaim that the world does not care for them.

Another thing I can suggest for those of you who suffer from loneliness and a lack of direction is exercise. If you dread certain days or times, simply exercise. Now I don't mean some sort of ambling around I'm talking about REAL exertion, whatever that is. It will drain all the anxiety out of your body and when really whacked out feelings of loneliness and despair simply cannot compete in a brain that is tired yet full of good life giving chemicals. Trust me it does work. I run and it does it for me. It will get you through the day and begin to lighten your mood. You will begin to feel different. Don't be put off thinking unless you run or cycle or whatever for the length of a marathon it's not enough. It's whatever your body feels is exertion plus some extra effort. Then later when you relax you will find your mind will not automatically wander back down those dark alleyways of solitude.

I think for me practicing celibacy is a better and spiritually elevating process than being a philandering playboy who can end up hurting women. My rule of the thumb is, - “It's better to have loved at least once and lost than never to have loved at all." Of course those cherished days I will remember forever and I am content that it will last a lifetime for me. I cannot vouch for this for you.

In India, we live together as families, most of us. But you still tend to feel lonely when you can't relate with those around you. I've had troubles growing up too. When I was a teenager I wasn't physically alone but in other aspects I was. I know loneliness is not a pretty place to be, and those who claim they like being alone only find a way to make it pretty good for others. Now, since I know what it feels to not have anyone in your hour of need, I have made this motto in my life to touch someone's life with the loving heart God has blessed me with, and just to be there regardless of everything else. In my case, I too had bouts of depression but as soon as I accepted that, I stopped fearing loneliness and craved being alone. My time away from other people is so important to me now. It's helped me discover who I really am, what I truly enjoy doing with my time, what I'm passionate about, and what talents I had hidden away under the surface. I've had time to learn, about literature, history, psychology, culture, science, religion and everything else under the sky. I feel now, that I am in a better position to give something back to life, rather than merely wander through it, dependent on my relationships with other people to give meaning to my existence.

If you are living alone like me, don't waste it feeling like you are missing out on something others have in life. See it for the gift that it is - you have time. Time is something everyone seems to desire, but when given it, they don't know what to do with it. You have time now, so use it. Find out who you really are. Learn about the world around you. And to those of you, who like me, made the choice to be alone, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who appreciates the value of finding your own place in the world.

Trust me; the solution to our problems is love. All we need is love. Really. And that love is to love yourself wholly rather than cursing your loneliness. The beauty of love is, it grows even more when you share it. And when you serve others with the love that you have in your heart, you unconsciously fix you problems too. All of you are beautiful souls, each and every one of you, whether you are single or lonely, I hope that you be strong and always strive to be better than what you were, not only for the world to see and acknowledge but for your own being.