"How to be happy? This is the last week’s question I promised to answer you all. So here I am answering that question.
It’s more than a little comforting to know that people can become happier, that pessimists can become optimists, and that stressed and negative brains can be trained to see more possibility.” – Shawn Achor
Researchers have found that all of us have a kind of happiness baseline–that we have a typical amount of happiness during our lives. However, with the right effort we can INCREASE our happiness baseline:
No matter who you are, what your experiences are, or how you think, you can learn how to be happy–and it is absolutely a learned skill set.
Change Your Mindset: Happiness doesn’t just happen to you. Happiness is a lifestyle etched deep in attitudes and positive emotions that you have built over time.
Certain daily rituals will positively bring happiness. Each of these activities listed below not only gives us a quick boost of positive emotions, improving our performance and focus in the moment; but if performed habitually over time, each has been shown to help permanently raise our happiness baseline.
1. When you meditate, even just five minutes a day, it rewires your brain to raise our levels of happiness, lower stress, and improve immune function.
2. Write a thank you email to an employee, a friend or even a family member. Not necessarily an email; even saying it personally will have the same effect.
3. Set up something to look forward to–it can be as small as chocolate after lunch, seeing a friend this weekend or even scheduling a time from your busy life to wish your child or grandchild on his or her birthday. Knowing you have this coming up releases dopamine in your brain as if you are actually doing it. In other words, you benefit from the reward before actually getting the reward.
4. Commit conscious acts or deeds of kindness by doing one nice thing for someone every day. Buy a coffee for the person behind you in the drive-through or help someone else bag their groceries at checkout.
5. Make your environment inspiring. How can you infuse positivity into your surroundings? Is it a beautiful pen? A nice mid-day walk? A better ringtone? Make an effort to surround yourself with things that make you smile.
6. Exercise whenever you can–I know we have heard this one before. But even small walks a few times a week results in significant improvements in mental health.
7. Spend on experiences. Research shows that spending money on experiences and activities rather than on material purchases makes us happier in the moment and over time. Look at your credit card statement over the past month- what did you spend more on? I don’t mean to bankrupt yourself financially but spend caring for your personal development. How would you feel when you learn or elevate your skillset? Of course, any successful learning of skillsets will trigger the release of dopamine in the brain resulting in happy moments. Writing, singing, playing a game you love are all means of triggering those moments of happiness.
I also find sharing positive experiences with others strengthens our relationship with them. This is because emotions are contagious, so when you’re happy it makes other people feel good too; and those feelings then create a sense of togetherness that helps you connect on a deeper level. We all want to be happier and live more fulfilling lives. The question is: How? We pursue success, relationships, hobbies, etc. but what do you do when it still feels like something is missing?
The answer is in your thoughts.
A growing body of research has found that practicing grateful thinking is key to being happier, healthier and having better relationships. The hardest part of practicing gratitude is remembering to do it. This is why I recommend using a helpful tool called a gratitude totem. This is something that triggers a moment of gratitude. It can be a person, a specific time, an object, etc., and whenever you see it you take a moment to reflect on all the things you’re grateful for. Invite your family and friends to join you in practicing gratitude by sharing what you’re grateful for with each other. Many in the West attend weekend parties but how many do say a gratitude prayer either at the beginning of the party or even a thanksgiving prayer at the end. None I suppose. While in the East like in my country, how many of them do the same at a family or a friendship reunion. None I presume. Not even at mealtime.
Different cultures have different methods. Know which tradition cultivates a sense of gratitude and when? If there is one, cultivate that to be practiced daily till it becomes a ritual.
There is a more important point to be specifically addressed now before coming to any concrete conclusions. Is to possible to be truly happy? Possible? NO.
Happiness is a very subjective term. It differs from person to person. It is all about one's perception of looking at the situation.
For me, happiness is enjoying every moment, be it good or bad. You must be thinking as to whether am I mad or what to say that you need to enjoy bad moments. You must be thinking about how one can be happy in bad or tough times.
Of course, not! That's why I said at the very beginning that it is not possible to be truly happy. One doesn’t cherish bad or tough times. Even in good times, you are not truly happy. You crave more and more happiness. You want more success. Happiness is such a thing only that will never be satisfied. You start thinking of your next moment of happiness or the other things which are affecting your life. And this is why one would never be really or truly happy even in good times, forget about bad times.
But yes, if you want to live life to the fullest, you need to find happiness in every small thing, even during times of adversities.
In my life, I enjoy every small thing the way it comes. I still remember when I watched a movie in the theatre for the first time after my graduation. I was super happy. I was not truly happy because I didn't enjoy these things earlier but still I was happy. I found happiness when in 1969 for the first time I cycled around Bangalore Cantonment side and its suburbs just to feel it. I never traveled around places in the early days of my life here for some reasons and that was hurting but yes I wanted to enjoy my present. I got my first odd job after a lot of struggle. I still didn't get what I wanted but yes I was still the if not truly happy because it was a sigh of relief. That relief on the face of my family members who struggled to make me what I am today was the ultimate reason for me to be happy if not truly happy.
I still remember the days when going to the restaurant was like a big thing while at college, a once in a blue moon opportunity. But yes, once I got a job, it is no more a big deal. But still to recollect those tough days and seeing your parents having good times is what makes me happy and as I said earlier not truly happy because my parents didn't enjoy life earlier when they wanted to.
You would be happy if you remember your struggle. You would be happy if you understand how blessed you are. You would be happy if you understand the pain of others who struggle to get even two times bread and butter in their daily life. To be truly happy is difficult if not impossible. But yes, to be happy is very much possible.
On a lighter note, I get happy even when I get to see my old crush but am not truly happy because she is not my girlfriend or my better-half. Did you get my message now?
So just chill. Be happy and enjoy life even if you are not truly happy by following these tenets
.
Try to be happy and not truly happy is the last I would suggest to anyone in all honesty. I believe it is a wise suggestion.
Most importantly it would be very appropriate and wise, therefore, to have a small 5 minutes session for saying a gratitude prayer at an appropriate convenient time, like when you open your eyes in the morning to wake up from deep slumber. This will make you feel energetic and keep your whole day ahead with positive energies. Starting the day with the right foot will keep you in the right direction. A ripple sort of effect will be created in all the things you do and all the other gestures, words and deeds I mentioned will fall into the right place when you practice regularly. Strictly adhering to these rituals awaken the positive energies and harmonizes with that of the cosmos.
Try it for a week, I promise it will make you happy and have a very positive effect to your body, soul and of course it will create the positive emotions that you deserve" ~
Anthony Sunny Kunneth
Sending love, lights, positive energies, warm hugs and kisses to you all.
