Discover how to practice honesty and integrity!

"Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people." ~ Dennis Prager

"Someone asked for opinions about the difference between integrity and honesty. Honesty and integrity are linked but while honesty relies heavily on facts and objective information or situations, integrity relies more on subjectivity and circumstances in which a person finds himself, knowing how to behave or react in order to retain integrity and good will and meet expectations.

To define honesty requires stripping away any mitigating factors which may persuade a person to do or say something not completely honest. Telling the truth makes a person honest but, for example, if you are hiding someone to protect him from someone or something evil (using the Holocaust as an example), honesty would require you to expose the person hiding whereas integrity would insist that you keep his secret and do not disclose his whereabouts

Honesty: Always tell the truth, be consistent and conscientious, be sincere, lack deceit, behave correctly, be straightforward and speak clearly so that double meanings and misunderstandings are avoided.

Integrity: Always be fair, just, compassionate, non-judgmental, respectful, helpful, self-aware, follow one's own conscience, be trustworthy (not quite the same as telling the truth!), know the difference between right and wrong and uphold high moral values.

Honesty may be seen as transparency and openness- your willingness to communicate what you’re thinking or feeling, even when it is uncomfortable or unpopular. Honesty may be seen as a willingness to listen and discuss issues before the data is completely thought through, when available alternatives are not fully crystallized, and when decisions are not yet final. It may also be seen as keeping your word, following through on promises, and delivering on time.

Integrity is often equated with courage- courage to speak up when your point of view is at odds with a manager’s perspective or with a commonly held belief about how things should be done. Integrity may also be interpreted as work ethic- in early, staying late to get the right things done for the company. To be known for your integrity, honesty, and trust, you may need to demonstrate more personal courage

Unfortunately, society has not advanced on all fronts. Though we have made great advancements in many areas, we have gone backward quite rapidly in others. We are on a downhill slide in the area of morals. We have sunk to all time lows in regards to morality. In order to teach children honesty and integrity, there must be an unchangeable standard that is used. One cannot teach a child about honesty and integrity by using such things as "situational ethics" which is taught in many public schools today.

Think of the many politicians, both past and present that while campaigning for office made boasts and promises of great things that they would do if elected, only to renege on most if not all of them once in office. Or when being questioned concerning their conduct and practices in various dealings and decisions, have responded with bold face lies.

Basically this philosophy teaches that it is the situation that determines the degree of honesty that is practiced. This leaves it up to the individual to determine what is right and wrong. This is a by-product of the common philosophy prevalent in society today of truth being relevant. It is up to each individual to determine what is right and wrong, there are no absolutes. Honesty and integrity can never be taught when the defining of such is left up to each individual. Change must take place and it needs to begin with us.

My view was that there can be honesty without integrity, but no integrity without honesty. But although integrity needs honesty, it does not mean you always have to be absolutely honest to others.

It just means you have to be absolutely honest to yourself. How does one maintain authenticity? In a word, ‘self-awareness’. You must know what you want out of life, who you are, what you feel, what your positive characteristics are and your negative qualities. You can’t be true to yourself as an individual if you don’t have a clear sense of who you are as a person. It is also important to be able to accept feedback about your behaviors and actions. The honest feedback from others whether you lack honesty and integrity. You can learn a lot about how you are perceived in the world by listening to their feedback whether it is positive or negative.

Lastly, by behaving consistently with your values, you will reinforce their importance and impact with yourself. This way you do not lose sight of what is really important to you. You build trust and respect with others when you keep your commitments. In fact, keeping your commitments is so essential to building trust, you should always try to go out of your way to keep the commitments you make. In a perfect world, we would never have to break a commitment. But, in life obstacles and challenges beyond our control sometimes force us to break our commitments.

Here are some steps to take in those situations where you will not be able to meet a commitment:

I. For a commitment that needs to be changed but not broken:

1. State the problem.
2. Listen openly to the reaction.
3. Get involvement from the person to solve the problem.
4. Reach a new commitment.

II. For a commitment that you absolutely have to break:

1. Take ownership of the commitment.
2. Show empathy.
3. Explain rationale.
4. Listen openly to reaction.
5. Offer an alternative solution.

This method may take a little more time and effort, but in the long run, others will still trust and respect you, even if you do occasionally have to go back on your word.

Being honest to others is many times just giving a personal opinion has many rewards. And that opinion might just as well have nothing to do with facts.

So I do think integrity needs honesty, but honesty as an inner process. Looking at your own values and act upon them with respect for others, that way you will be able to maintain honesty and integrity which begets trust from them."

Sending love, lights, peace and warm hugs to you, my dear friends!

Anthony Sunny Kunneth.

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