Love is a great knowledge in human intimacies, but it is a terrible knowledge...

“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” ~ Wayne Dyer

"Love is a great knowledge in human intimacies, but it is a terrible knowledge, greatly misunderstood and misused. True love moves us beyond the usual insult of morality, but it takes place in the context of morality. When love relieves us, in some respects it also relieves us of the insult of morality, it also makes the suffering of morality profound. So, to love any one is a terrible "problem" - friend, intimate, child, mother, father. To love at all, is to be confronted with the terrible nature of morality one faces in life. But to attach


ourself to someone with utmost compassion and uncoditionally love becomes an asset of joyous nature, peace, kindness and generousity that enthralls our own self and the world at large, making it more profound and genuine” ~ Anthony Sunny Kunneth

We can find no baby born, that hated when they were born. They did not know how to do it. After being born, there is only one thing children truly give and yearn for; and that is LOVE. Many of us spend the rest of our lives trying to recapture those same feeling of love we had so naturally and freely as a child but faded from our heart as we grew up. When we grew up we do not know how to do it, though. It's deep down, pushed back, argued away. It's over-done and over-thought. It's stashed away and protected. Love is free and available and all around you... But it IS there. No one has to teach you how to LOVE. It will happen when we least expect it. Despite trying sometimes we can’t help who our heart attaches itself to. It is hard to control the velocity and tragectory of love. The love that we seek and achieve can make our dopamine levels go silly and our adreline reach higher levels too. Love can change. Love will change. And particularly love can change you too. It brings both happiness in the beginning and pain later. It will either make you react generously or arrogantly. Some times love becomes meagre rather than the reach of your level of expectations. The truth is that love is more than a romantic or friendly relationship. It is therefore essential for us to deviate from LOVE that is Philia and Eros, (familial and romantic love, respectively) and practice unconditional and unselfish love.

Unconditional love is universal, spontaneous and selfless. Such love does not exist between two people. It manifests when two merge into one. Unconditional love is known as Agape by the Greeks. This differs from ordinary love based on attachment, such as Philia and Eros, (familial and romantic love, respectively). While 'attached love' can also contain aspects of unconditional love, I believe the purest form of love is found in Agape. Conventional love form from the notion we exist as separate individuals, living within the framework of time and space. When we define and limit objects and people we love, we perceive everything as 'other'--and so lose awareness of intrinsic Unity.... the purest aspect of love.

In the modern world, we are encouraged to develop our own individuality. Our parents wish us to become someone unique and special, so we tend to compete with others in order to be better than them--in order to 'win' in life (and therefore be 'worthy' of love). We strive to be more, get more, do more. Unfortunately, many people are subconsciously plagued by the perpetual idea we can never be enough, get enough, or do enough. Due to this we tend to subconsciously seek to gain something from situations and persons we encounter. Many people enter into relationships in order to fill the huge gap of longing to be whole. This desire-based motivation is the main obstacle to loving unconditionally. When we evaluate and categorize everything through the filter of past experiences, we calculate love through feelings of attraction, aversion, or indifference, and our behavior reflects this. In this process, we miss any possibility of true love. All waves consist of nothing but the ocean. Similarly each individual is precious, the most precious aspect is we are not separate from the ocean of existence. Imagine two lamps sitting across from each other. From the ordinary point of view, they appear separate. But seen from deep within, they share the same essence where the separate rays of light meet and join. The golden glow bridges the seeming boundary of separation between the two.

Our ego hankers for happiness, affection, love, praise, admiration, pleasure and power. All these are ego's nourishment which is detrimemtal to pure and unconditional love. But by looking for happiness from an external source, we always fail to find it. Every great sage and prophet exhorts us to look within. when we look from within the heart, we can see the essence of truth shining in everyone we meet. Agape or the true love we seek should be expressed equally towards relatives, friends and strangers alike.

In the case of romantic love (Eros), magic and mystery charm the beginning stages. The partners lose themselves in each other. Egos temporarily fade into the background. As the curtain of separation drops, a glimpse of Unity is revealed and the people involved revels in temporary bliss.

But then what happens?
It's as if they only pressed pause on the tape deck. As long as the initial enchantment of love, whatever that be, lasts, the pause button holds selfishness in check. But after some time, the excitement wears off. The egos develop expectations and demands of each other and endeavor to control each other. At this stage, the beauty and true value of love can fade or evaporate altogether. Of course, in a good marriage the couple will work out their differences over time. This can only be accomplished when at least one partner imbibes principles of Agape like patience, tolerance, forgiveness, acceptance, endurance and compassion. Normally, interacting with other people, there's a psychological field of space born by the concept of 'I and other'.This psychological space prevents true connection and is the soil upon which conflict sprouts and thrives.

Pure love arises when distinction dies. Only when the mind is devoid of judgments can distance and division also disappear. The sense of division widens when we dwell on flaws in others, and it dissolves when we practice Agape. Love is not something you can acquire or give; it is something you become. When we become pure in love, compassion springs forth spontaneously and manifests as loving-kindness distributed equally to all, just like both sun and rain fall everywhere alike without calculation or making preferences. This supreme ideal is a peak to strive for, and the bonds of blood or marriage or friendship should not be a precondition. Those who work in service fields, like education or medicine, are given ample opportunity to practice Agape. Each person can become aware of a myriad ways to practice this--even through small gestures such as smiling at a stranger.

Remember that the aim of this post is to facilitate the courses of unconditional love and acceptance. There is no likelihood of accomplishing this in the direction of other ones if we are not wise enough to know how to unconditionally accept ourself.

Here are seven steps to lead that can lead us in that direction.
1. Trust in our perceptivity.
2. Ruthless truthfulness with ourself.
3. Acknowledging that the world and those in it are flawless and making a firm promise to be tolerant.
4. Allowing ourselves to use our own power and unchanging alternative to be, befitting with it.
5. Erasing worry and to inspire gentleness and joy to others.
6. Truly experiencing a submitting attitude and thus empowering and command our heart and mind to direct the factual integration of character and essence of the others. This permits you to completely know-how the personal plane as well as the reality, love, and attractiveness of the others.
7. Humility

It will be wise for us to inculcate unconditional love with compassion for others, for like a smile, LOVE too can prove contagious, inspiring others to pass it along through random selfless acts of kindness.