The true spirit of Valentine Day...what it means?

“The greatest possession we have costs nothing, it's known as love” ~ Brian Jett

“Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you”. ~ Erich Fromm

“You know what Valentine's Day means for some couples -- on February 15th there’s going to be a lot of Facebook relationship statuses changing to “engaged”. And I foresee that with utmost glee! I will be more than glad if that happens. God forbid otherwise,


lest it creates untold agony and pain upon the sufferers.

But what happens if after she or he pops the question, after you say “yes”, after the excitement dies down and reality sets in? What happens if...well, let’s say things just don’t work out? The wedding becomes a no-go? A broken love affair is a terrible heartbreak, but at least you don’t have to go through a split-up too. Arguments and disagreements with the people you love are bound to happen. Your ‘love-of-your-life’ says or does something that upsets you and you get defensive. Your fiancee and you have different opinions on a subject matter and you find yourself trying to argue your point across. Fights happen and quite it's normal. That’s how you learn to understand the other person.

As much as we wish we can make our partner feel or want something, we really have no control over what they want. This means, we can't force them to share our views or wants. Most fights are usually based on each person trying to convince someone else that they're right and that their partner is wrong. It's a losing game because no matter what we do, we cannot force anyone to feel a certain way. Let go your ego and watch true love take many forms and shapes bathing you in its aura. You will fall in love with love itself in all its glory.

The only person we have any control over is ourselves. We can control how we choose to respond to our partner and our situation. This is the first step diminishing the impact of fights you have with your partner, by letting go of this need to control the outcome. Many people can get self-involved with themselves when they're talking to other people that they don't allow the other person an opportunity to talk. Give your partner a chance to explain their feelings and their perspective and take the time to fully process what they're saying.

Imagine yourself in their shoes; you would appreciate it if someone took the time to listen to your words. This helps your partner feel heard and lessen the impact of your argument. Arguments have a way of creating a tension in the air so thick you can slice it with a knife. Rather than going to bed angry and frustrated, which only creates resentment and bitterness, at the end of the evening, make a habit of telling each other what you're grateful for by calling over the phone and expressing your gratitude. Even if you and your partner are in a huge fight, there is always something to be grateful for.

You're grateful for your partner’s time, friendship, care and love, getting to work on time in his or her car or helping you meeting the deadline or for the first date you had or for the care taken when you suddenly fell ill. There will be myriad reasons to express your gratitude only if you honestly look for it in the past with an open heart. Use it to your advantage to extinguish the burning fury between you both. 

As a person with unconditional love, you have the ultimate and enviable freedom of connecting with your partner whenever you want! It doesn't mean being a hermit and running away to face solitude which will only aggravate your animosity more. Figure out what it is you really want-and stop using fear as an excuse to not pursue meaningful connections with your life partner.

Be positive and seize every opportunity that comes your way to mend fences and show how much you care. You will find that it is easier and better to start with a clean new slate new and a new spirit again to forge ahead with your relationship, erasing all the differences that you had with your life partner. In carrying on the spirit of Valentine Day I urge you to move on to patch your differences with the sanctity and build an attitude for unconditional love and a meaningful lasting relationship that you deserve with your loved one.